I share this in hope that it might help someone who has ever worried about not being enough. I know everyone goes through times in their lives when they've felt this and I wanted to share something that's helped me. If you don't have time to read this post at least watch the linked video below. It may help you, too.
This last week, I had experience with polar opposites. I had someone that used to attend my ward send me a message saying in essence, "You always seem to have your stuff together." Then she said, "I'm sure you don't always have it, but you make it seem like you do." I said it was all a matter of perspective and that was the end of that.
I had been thinking about perspective- not as in hers, or anyone else's perspective of me, but perspective- as in my perspective of things. I had watched this "Hope Works" video years ago that helped me change my view on things. It also led me into trying to be a seminary teacher- that's a story that didn't turn out the way I hoped, but it did lead me on a path I never would have gone without it. Anyways, back to the topic at hand . . . Asking myself, will this matter in 1,000 years? has helped me not get so stressed when hardships come. I'm not saying that I don't get upset and struggle, but I think it's lessened my stress-caused breakdowns.
Later that day I talked to an old friend that I haven't actually "talked" to in a long time. We text and share photos often. We've been best friends since elementary school, but are both so busy and lead completely different lives and it was definitely time to catch up. She was telling me about her two companies she owns, her husband, her responsibilities in her community, her family things, etc. She's amazing and so talented! One of my favorite things of the pandemic has been having time to be more creative and to share the different things we've done. We both have refinished/refurbished furniture, are artistic, and like to craft.
When it came to my turn to talk about what was going on in my life, I had a lot to say about our family, my job and the gospel. It seemed like she had so much going on and I'm just me. In her eyes, she wanted to hear more. She asked if there was anything exciting going on, any new anything - granted there's not a lot that can be going on with the quarantines we've been through and the governor's recent mandates. I got off the phone and the more time I spent thinking about the conversation, the worse I felt about myself.
There I was, just barely having said, it's all a matter of perspective, thinking I was handling things just fine, and then I forgot that perspective. I forgot that I don't need to compare myself to anyone else. It's amazing how Satan, the Father of Lies, can influence us so quickly and knows right where to hit us. He wants us to be just as miserable as he is, so he puts these thoughts in your mind. I'm just not good enough.
". . . sisters, there are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt—and certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon" (Holland, Jeffery R., "The Laborers in the Vineyard", General Conference, April 2012).
Life is good! Sometimes, I need little reminders of just how good. Just because someone else's good is different than my good, it doesn't mean mine is any less good. I love that there are or have been innumerable people in the world, and there are just as many versions of good out there.
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